OOOOoooops, I did it again!

As most of you know, I have two kids. (Scroll up...there they are.....Very sweet.) During Olivia's pregnancy, I ran across the book Your Pregnancy Week by Week, which was awesome because I didn't have the patience for the month to month updates in What to Expect when You're Expecting. The downside of the week-to-week format -- I read ahead....WAY ahead....and then I convinced myself that I was further along than I actually was. I thought I was 14 weeks when I was 12 weeks.....corrected at a doctor's visit.....read ahead again....then thought I was 27 weeks at 24 weeks.....corrected at a doctor's visit......etc., etc. Instead of getting the clue and patiently enjoying my pregnancy with Josiah (or switching books), I was WORSE. I remember being crushed at 32 weeks when I had convinced myself that I was 36 weeks along and nearly ready to deliver......corrected, of course, at a doctor's visit.

Last night, I was sitting at my computer looking over the informal list on my adoption agency's forum (a few referrals this week have bumped us up a notch or two), and I looked at the column that noted "wait time for a referral." We were listed at 3 months waiting. "That can't be," I thought, amused and appalled (weird combination, I know, but you cannot believe how many days find me walking around in exactly that state of offballance emotional upheaval and mild amusement). I, of course, having been telling people for weeks now that we will arrive at our 5 month waiting mark (the magical mark, as it's the front end of our agency's projected 5-7 month wait time window) on December 3rd, having submitted our paperwork on August 3rd. HMMMMMMMmm, August 3rd, September 3rd, October 3rd, November 3rd, December 3rd......4 months....not five. I was....again.....crushed. Worse than before this time. Very hard.

By the way, the fact that the title of this post is a Britt***ny Spe$rs song is not lost on me. Although I have never heard the song in its entirety (and yes, I am bragging), I haven't been able to get it out of my head for the past 2 days. And, the title seemed, sadly, appropriate. At least my doctor didn't get to deliver the news this time! I read it on a list, in the privacy of my own living/computer/music room...so I could look as amused and appalled as I wanted without fear of mortification or medical intervention.