Tuesday, July 15, 2008

All I have to say tonight...

I'm so sleepy, but lest my blog become too syrupy with all of the wonderful news and annoying personal insights, I thought I'd share with you my bad day. After a call to our caseworker this afternoon (following many hours of anxious calls abandoned mid-dial and "refresh" hits to our email accounts, just in case), I am less optimistic about being able to bring the kids home this month. Although a raft of Birth Certificates has been received and more are expected this week, ours may be another week, still, in coming. Because of the influx of Visa applicants looking to travel over the next several weeks, our caseworker estimated that our travel may wait until mid-August....at the early end.


I so wanted it to be sooner than that.

While I was struggling to pull myself out of the funk that this news plunged me into (which, by the way, never works....I can almost never pull MYSELF out of a funk because, secretly, I believe I somehow deserve to be there), my Dad told me about his upcoming sermon on praise -- which briefly summarized will underscore the point that God is good even when things around us seem to be falling apart, and therefore, He deserves to be praised no matter what. Some people do this so well -- almost instinctively, even. Sadly, I was not among them today!

Do you know, I say this very thing to my son nearly every day, recently!? (If I could learn half of the lessons I try to teach my children, my life would be almost completely free of crud and interference!). Whenever I ask him to pray (before bed or a meal or whatever), he always says, "Thank you, God, for everything. Amen." Obviously, if you are in the room you are clearly aware that his motivation is more expediency than simple reverence. Josiah likes to cut to the chase -- get to the meal -- move on to the bedtime story, etc. The other night, he asked me (and now asks me sporadically throughout the day) if I've noticed that he always prays the same prayer. I told him that I had noticed (I wonder, sometimes, what they must think of us...) and that I thought that if he could learn to pray that prayer with his whole heart and soul and self every day of his life he would have lived more fully and figured out more about love and life than most people ever begin to learn.

I am tired. I am headed to bed. With everything inside me, I hope that I can lay down this day and pray, "Thank you, God, for everything. Amen."

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